Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Nothing But A Heartache


So Long, Too Soon

Boy, this year just keeps throwing curve balls. We learned Sunday that our very dear sisterfriend Cin had passed away. She'd been fighting lung cancer, but I think we were all still in shock, not expecting the worst or at the very least, not expecting to lose her so soon. I know I was in shock. 

She's been my sister Gloria's best pal since high school and an honorary part of our family. A third sister, an extra daughter. I just mentioned her last week in my Mom's birthday post.


She could always make me laugh whether she was being silly or irreverant.  Her and my sister raised a lot of hell together. I was too young, but boy could my sister and my brother tell you some stories. So could my parents.  In fact, one that still cracks me up is my father going to 'retrieve' his daughter Gloria at a house party. Well, when he got there, he didn't find Gloria but he did find Cindy who we barely knew at this point. He said, 'don't I know you? you're coming with me" despite her pleas, and promptly removed her from the party and brought her home. 

Cin and Glo had to drag me around with them at times, and dubbed me Diddle Bain. Yup, you guessed it, their code for 'little pain'.  To this day, Cin called me diddle.




I will truly miss that, but what I will miss even more is just Cin.  She could brighten my day with an email or a Skype call like nobody's business.

I will remember her learning to drive a standard in her Saab and jerking back and forth as we left Cumberland Farms....must have been the 'diddle bain' tag along that day. I'll remember our day trip over to my sister's college with another chum who's gone, Dean (another 'diddle bain' day). I'll remember doing the Texas two step with her around Gloria's house when she was visiting from Louisiana one year. When Mack the Knife plays, I'll think of Cin because it was her and my sister's song. I'll always think of her at Mardi Gras, as she lived in Lake Charles, Louisiana for years now and always did it up right starting with black tie formal dress up for the Mardi Gras Ball. I'll think of her whenever I tailgate because she loved to tailgate for a football game. And I'll definitely think of her when I enjoy a beer or two and when my pool is open and I'm floating about, two more things she loved. 
She suffered her fair share, but always looked on the bright side and knew there was always someone worse off.  At the time of the unexpected death of her husband Ron (who I called R2 since he was 'ronnie ray') last August, she joked through it all, and somehow muddled through the loss of her one true love. She was amazing. In the end, I think her broken heart made it too hard to fight the cancer.


I understand, but it sure doesn't make it easier. 

I am so grateful that her niece Susie had been with her in Louisiana to help her, to be Nurse Susie, and to simply be with Cin in the end. It's a true blessing.

I'm so glad you were a big part of my life Cin. So, so glad.  I couldn't have loved ya anymore.

Love ya always, 
diddle

Sunset Meadows

Oh the sunset the day we learned that Cin has just passed was striking.  I'll just say, whenever I get 'bubble's of light' in a picture they seem to appear around the sun. Not in this one. This bubble of light is ascending towards the heavens. Enough said.








Peace out my friends and be well,

24 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear of your loss, very sad and I send my prayers your way! Xo ~Ashley

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    1. Thanks Ashley. It is sad. She was far too young and too good a person. Cancer always seems to take the very best. Thanks for the prayers.

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  2. Wow I am so sorry. That picture gave me goose bumps and made me cry. Simply amazing.

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    1. Thanks Traci........isn't that picture something. Oh yeah, Cin would definitely make an exit just like that.

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  3. No words, Pam. I am so sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thanks Sarah. We all suffer losses. Some hurt more than others. But I guess that just means we've loved as much as we can.

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  4. Geez this is very sad....hate to hear of one who loves life leaving too soon...and her hubby too~

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    1. it is sad. it's hard losing the people we love and i don't expect it will every get any easier amy.

      on a happy note, i just LOVE the way your store is shaping up!!! so excited for you.

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  5. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful friend. I will forever cherish the laughter, smiles, and memories she brought to my family--especially my mother. While it pains me so much to watch her go, and to witness the poignant heartbreak of my mother and my family that so deeply loved her; I am so much more happy that she was ever here. Rest in peace Cindy.

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    1. nicole, we are all so much better for having had cin as part of our life. so. much. better. xxo love ya.

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  6. I had tears in my eyes reading this...I'm so sorry for your loss.
    --Leslie

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    1. you're all so very nice leslie. it sure isn't easy losing my godfather and cin within two months of each other. but it would be a sad, empty kind of life, if we felt nothing when someone in our life passed, because surely it would mean that we hadn't given or received love fully and what kind of life would that be?

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  7. Awww, thanks Pamela for leaving your lovely comment, that really made my night =) Like you said, cancer is a terrible thing, that sadly seems to popping up more and more, I lost my Grandfather to it and my Mother-in-law has it :( I also wanted to tell you that I very much enjoyed the pictures of the sun setting.....The sunsets are a special thing to me, my Brother and I both adored sunsets and could gaze for hours, literally, to me it is a reminder of Gods beautiful work and since my brother has passed it is now a reminder of the Angels we have lost and perhaps their way of smiling back at us, so, think of Cin everytime you gaze out at the sky =)
    On another note, save a strawberry margarita for me hehehe Xo, Ashley

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    1. isn't it just silly how everyone has had people they love taken away by this rotten disease. i don't know if we'll ever have a handle on it, there are just so so many kinds. but i pray they keep making progress. sorry to hear about your brother. you may have mentioned that before but what a terrible thing to have a lost sibling much too young. Nevermind your grandfather and now your mother in law fighting. I hope that she is doing her best to fight this thing. I love that......'smiling back at us'. it's a consoling thought. and i will most definitely save a margarita for ya.

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  8. :'( I love my sister (and best friend) to breast cancer 10 years ago, and it still hurts. But now I find myself smiling more at the memories. I'm sorry for your loss, and amazed at your sunset photo.
    Debbi
    -yankeeburrowcreations

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    1. see what i mean? just in this thread, the losses we've all suffer are apparent. how terribly sad to lose your sister/best friend in one fell swoop to breast cancer. gar lost his mom to breast cancer when he was only 15 and i can say with certainty, it changed the course of his life. it has made him a stronger person, but at what cost? that said, i don't think i would have met him had he not lost his mom, so i guess there is some good from bad. i'm glad that you can smile more at the memories because no matter what, they all live in our hearts forever.(((())))

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  9. I am so so sorry that you've had to have this loss...your tribute to your sisterfriend is just beautiful - we should all be so lucky to have people in our lives that make such imprints upon us. And I agree - to have gone down that road with someone and feel the loss of their absence is far better than to have never traveled with them. I lost a special person this week too - the sadness is too much, but all that I learned and shared and gained from knowing the person - I wouldn't trade. ever. sending good thoughts, big prayers and a margarita, to toast the good life of your friend!

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    1. isn't that the truth bonnie? we should all be so lucky. so blessed to have had cin in my life for as long as i did. not easy losing these special people, is it? and yes, a strawberry margarita is calling just about NOW> :)

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  10. Dear Pam - I'm catching up on your news and of course am so sad to see that your news is not of the happy variety. The loss and separation from these dear people is just the worst thing on earth. My thoughts and prayers are with you that you will get all the comfort and strength to need to get you through this difficult time. x

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    1. Thanks Cari-Jane. Like I said before, the pain is big because we both put all our love on the table. and that my dear friend, is the only way i ever want to live. pain and all.

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  11. Pamela, So sorry to hear of your loss. She was so blessed to have you in her life. My sister lost her childhood friend, who was also a third daughter, and 2nd sister to me. I know how difficult a time this is for you. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and to her family. What a lovely post about a lovely lady.

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    1. Lily Anne,and i was blessed to have her. We're both blessed to have had friends that were like family and this a good thing to remember at times like this. thanks for your kind and thoughtful words.

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  12. Pam, you have a way with words, what a tribute to Cindy. I could feel you loss. The sunset picture was amazing and it was her, I know it.

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    1. Oh man Kel, being my 'fourth' sister, you know how much people mean to me. Can't say it's been an easy week. It sucks. No other word for it.

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You comments make my day. Thanks for taking the time to visit Mercantile Muse and for commenting. I really appreciate it. ~Pam

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